I have been doing all I can think of to protect myself from someone who sexually abused me. I have cast some protection spells, cleansed my home, changed some things for myself on my altar, and even just flat out banished that negativity in my life by attempting to force myself not to dwell on it. (In fear of that making her stronger) However, it seems that left and right this person is attempting to wish ill will on me. Some horrible omens are appearing, she has been attempting to cast spells against me, and I keep having these strange unexplained fits of pain that seem like injury, or as if I can't breathe. I'm trying to keep calm and focus on building my own strong, positive energy (but I really am quite terrified). Any ideas on how to further protect myself from someone trying to harm me through spells and the like?
Hello Arterra. I'm going to cover a few things very, very vaguely simply due to the nature of this topic and my lack of a degree involving it.
When we experience rape or sexual assault (or any other form of assault or abuse) there is a change in our world view. The world no longer is a place where we are always safe, but rather it is a place where we can be hurt at any moment. This is particularly the case because chances are that the rapist or abuser is a close friend or relative.
Because of this loss of trust in the world around us and the people close to us, we feel always on guard, always under attack. We feel like we can't necessarily trust ourselves around others either, because our reactions aren't what they used to be.
Part of the attack and the aftermath is we might have memories come up that seem real. Pain that comes up with the attack as if it's happening again. Or pain after that comes from the initial attack. (Several conditions like blood clots in the brain can appear and go unnoticed.)
And our brains, when they linger on the attack or become triggered by something that brings it up again can put us through panic attacks that constrict our breathing.
So, what I'm trying to say is that what you are experiencing is very, very normal for a sexual assault. It's normal healthcare things that you'll have to see or talk to a professional about to be sure that's what it is, but it's far from abnormal or unusual.
If you contact the link below, they have both an online chat that works with mobile and a call line. They are great for talking to whether you are in crisis or not and they can give you resources for your area. They also won't report anything unless you give name details, so you don't have to be afraid of being forced to face your rapist. (No judgment on whether you do or don't face them; both choices are hard ones.)
Thehotline.org
Admittedly this is for the US, but even if you are international, having someone to talk to without judgments who'll remind you it's not your fault and give you steps to protect yourself physically is awesome.
And you are welcome to message me anytime to talk.
What you are describing may not be coming under any sort of magical attack. It sounds more like post-traumatic stress. Sexual assault is an extreme trauma. It is why a lot of people who have been through it are so often suggested to see professional counseling. They will have methods to cope.
What you describe, with the pain and difficulty breathing sound more like anxiety attacks, and possible symptoms of non-visual flashbacks.
Yes: Magic can help, but not so much in the single-exercise-and-it-is-done sort of way. just banishing the negativity will not work. It is a process. The process is very similar to what a mental health professional will suggest with you.
