For a while now, I've noticed that maybe perhaps I need change in my life and I've tried my best to change on my own. Every time I try, I just revert back to who I was before simply because it's easier than being someone entirely new. I'd like to grow and mature and catch up with everyone else, but it's become so difficult at this point in my life. Can someone please tell me what I should do other than going to a therapist which I already plan on seeing. I enjoyed the journey experienced in the episode of AT called Hall of Egress in which leaving everything about your past behind and stopping trying to find the answer worked, but I'm not sure how to go about forcibly maturing myself in a similar way.
It's important to note that nobody is perfect. While personal growth is a brilliant way to help the person become a better person than they were before. One needs to know why, they want to take this change, in the first place. This can be caused to millions other reasons, like a bad past, or unhappy with oneself with a certain aspect about themselves. Ask yourself why you need to catch up with everybody around you. We as people are on all different levels. Some of us can understand things better than others, and some of us can do something another person cannot. This is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you wish to learn something new, than brace it and take action, enjoy it and have fun. In my own personal growth I've found that some things are inscribable hard for me to understand. This isn't because I'm slow. It's because I'm just flat out lazy. Why commit to something that I don't enjoy, why chose something that will only bring me pain and sadness because everybody else around me is doing it? If you wish to change, than do so, but do things in a little bit more positive light. It will get a task much quicker, and it won't seem like a chore.
If you arejourneying your growth down.Than maybe do so listing to some background noise that you enjoy, this way the writing doesn't seem as missable.Therapist is probably also another great start, they might be able to help you to point out small things you wish to change. However, please be mindful this is not a easy task.
Do not expect it to be finished in the next night, this is a long process. It can take weeks, months and maybe years. Don't get too caught up in a change you wish to take, but find it isn't happening. Go easy on yourself.
A way to do this is to start small steps. For me, I have two things in my life that I want to change. One, I want to learn how to juggle, but I'm not going to be a master juggler in a day. This is coming from a person who can barely throw and is most likely going to trip over their feet than be able to catch a ball. I was never good at sports. So how do I do this? I start of small. By catching the ball, and counting how many time I can catch, until I'm comfortable enough and I bring my mark higher.
You also cannot force yourself to grow either. Please remember that real life works differently compared to a cartoon. A cartoon has a time limit on how long a episode will last. Just go easy on yourself, start of small, find out why you want to catch up with everybody around you. Meditation might help, and grounding as will. Acknowledge that you've got flaws, but hey that's okay because we all have our own flaws. Know you cannot be perfect, but you can be as great as you be.
And everybody personal growth is different, so what may work with me, may not work with you.
Change is difficult, you should get to the root of why you wish to change. Someone might say they wish to loose weight to look pretty and be happy, when the root is actually the fear of how others perceive them, and realizing they want to merely be healthy it becomes enough of a shift to make change possible. You might swear you know what you want, but after diving into your shadow you can realize the thing that has been holding you back from that change. Meditate and journal.
As for the concept you are at a point in your life where change is difficult, change is possible at any point in life. It is not a light switch you can just wake up, your past does not effect you, and you are a completely different person. Change is gradual and takes a long time to perfect, but it can be done. Do not jump out of bed and decide every single thing is going to be changed, you will burn yourself out and it will fail. Focus on one thing at a time. If you wish to be more positive, ask why, and be honest, get to the root of why. Once you know why you want it, put affirmations on your mirror, reminders on your phone, repeat a mantra whenever you can, surround yourself with positivity. This might mean that snarky website you like to frequent has to go, but replace it with a similar, but positive site. If you have family or friends that always bring you down, or you realize you are more negative when you are with them, distance yourself as best you can for some time. You may not need to cut them from your life, they might need you to help them, but you need to help yourself first, if you are not well enough to help someone else, it is best to step back. As you continue your daily routine, it will slowly become normal, soon you will not need the reminders on your phone, and it become a part of who you are. All habits began the exact same way. Do not get discouraged, everyone struggles and slips up, get back up and try again.
Your comment about "grow, mature, and catch up" I assume you are college age, or perhaps early to mid twenties because that's the key "I don't feel adult enough" time of your life. I do not know a single person that did not experience this, or still experiences this. I think this is what "being an adult" actually is, constantly worrying you are not "adulting" hard enough. What you need to remember is there will always be someone ahead of you and someone behind you. You are focused on those ahead, feeling as though you do not measure up to them, when behind you is another person in your life admiring you from a distance bemoaning how they can not be as accomplished as you. Welcome to life. The person you admire has the same doubts you do. We all do. I have a friend who is four years older than me, we work in the same office and he was just promoted to management. He is far more articulate and outgoing, and I spend a few months forcing myself to learn more just to measure up to his intellect. What changed was a few months ago we were at the bar after work, when he said "I'm envious of you Tadashi. Not in a vindictive way, but to have a wife who loves you? I wish I had that some times." In that moment, I realize despite how amazing his career is, how smart and extroverted he is, he was looking at me and thinking "why doesn't someone care for me, Tadashi's younger and already married." There's nothing wrong with any of this, my point is everyone is on their own path, excelling in some places, and "falling behind" in others, and that's okay. It is your life, the only person holding you to any standards is yourself, and those you choose to give that power. Go at your own pace, and do what makes you happy.
You cannot force maturity, it comes through life experience. Sometimes you have to skip the cartoon and watch the documentary, but really, you define "mature" and "adult" however you want. If you can take care of yourself, you are an adult. If you wish to wear business casual every day, keep up with world news, and only watch art house films, you can. Just do it because you like it, not because that is how "mature" people should act. You are talking to someone who is business casual weekdays and roleplays on weekends. Maturity is subjective; You will never wake up an "adult", it takes time to perfect. But you will wake up one day, look around and go "wow, when did I become old" hahaha.
