Is there a way for me to go emotionally numb? I have learned that hurting for long periods of time works, but I was hoping i could find a more permanent numbness. There is a reason behind this. I don't want to go into detail.
as someone who deals with depression, i can tell you feeling numb isn't that great. no spell will remove your emotions, but trust me, feeling something is better than feeling nothing.
to quote Daria:
Mr. O'Neill: "It is better to of loved and lost, then never loved at all" just what is Lord Tennyson talking about?
Daria: He's acknowledging that if something makes you feel good, like, being in love, there must be a corresponding painful side like loosing at love. It's just a fact of life... He's a realist. He says emotional involvement can bring pleasure AND extraordinary pain. Then he declares it's still better than never feeling anything at all.
trust me on this, feeling something is better than never feeling anything at all. you can talk to people and work through your emotions if you're in pain. even unrequited love, as painful as it can be, can be worked through, and is still better than feeling numb.
I get what you're saying. I will be honest, it never seems to go away. it is just painful, the last thing i want is to talk to someone only to receive advice that only goes so far. With the pain, I just want to push people away. It just feels easier to go numb than to live with it. I honestly hate that I cared so much, only to have my emotions gutted.
I get that, I really do, and there was a time I wished to feel nothing. There are ways to cope, accept, and move past these extreme emotions and not simply turn them off and become numb to everything. Numbness is a bleak grey nothingness. You won't feel excited when you're surprised with your favourite thing in the world, you won't feel sad when a loved one died, you won't get angry when someone hurts you, you'll just stare and think "I should feel this emotion, but I don't." You won't even feel bored, just a grey blob of lethargy.
Meditate, ground your energy, journal, talk to a therapist, take herbal remedies, talk to a friend or call a helpline. They won't help overnight, but it will get better over time. I know the pain you feel for loving too deeply and being rejected or cut from someone's life. You may be too close to the situation right now, but one day you'll look back on the memory and realize it was wonderful to love someone so deeply, and they lost something amazing when they walked away from you. [and I know it sounds sappy, I went through a ton of pain and rejection growing up, but you will reach a point where you're surrounded by people who truly care about you, and you'll look back on your past with a different appriciation for it]
