Hello, I am pagan, but my father hates pagan and won't buy me any books about witchcraft and paganism. My mother isn't a fan of witchcraft and paganism, but buys me books about those topics. Both won't even celebrate pagan holidays with me even though there is nothing wrong with it. Also, my father insults and mocks pagan and insults my friend who is pagan. Any advice pls?
Rather than answers, for the time being I have some questions. Not to be answered here but rather as food for thought to ponder upon.
Regarding the taunts and jabs of others (parent or other); Why should their opinions matter? What value do their words actually hold? If they hold none, then why are you affording them more than they are worth?
Or, more succinctly; Why are you on your journey- Is it to please someone else, or is it to better yourself?
Regarding the support (or lack thereof) of others; What are you doing to become self-sufficient enough to no longer depend on them? And until that time comes, who else can you share your interests with? What could you be doing to earn what you want to obtain?
Regarding the desire for others to follow what you follow; Are you walking your path, or are you trying to walk their path for them? Why is it so important to you that they do what you do?
Please don't think of me as posing some sort of quiz or test. These questions are things to reflect on, like a mental mirror to help you find perspective and perhaps even learn something about yourself. Personally I find those sorts of epiphanies to be much more valuable than any surmising to be found about the workings of the cosmos anyways.
Spend some time in quiet and stillness. Observe the thoughts and worries you have. Drift among your wants and desires and wishes. Choose one you have been dwelling on for the last while and consciously acknowledge what precisely the concern is. But, instead of trying to find an answer, ask yourself why the concern is there. Where does it come from? Why does it bother you? Where or how or in what way does that worry actually affect your sense of self?
Consider how can you grow as a person in order to either make a positive change or to let go of something you don't need to hold on to.
Chose the path you wish to follow in life and bother not to any critics. Do not go look for a discussion with ppl who abject the theme in the first place. There can be numerous reasons why they abject, but none matters, only respect towards your choice in life should matter. In a healthy relationship that is present.
To avoid friction, it might be a good idea to not discuss politics or religion on the dinnertable. Yoga calls these as parts of the causual world. It is the world of thoughts and ideas, which is hard to change and results in argues oftenly.
I have a good friend, she is Conservative Catholic, whom respects my belief but she is worried oftenly, for example, to have gemstones. She doesnt like evil, so naturally she finds Satanists uncool.
To the matter of God: all has been created in the image of God. That means, all. Everything. From Angels to Demons and Satan himself. And as well the Magician is.
Most Christian holidays derive from pagan holidays, ofcourse, it should be free will if one choses to celebrate it with you.
Some people don't want to, they fear for their soul ending up in Hell for doing so. Just, like for having gemstones.
People might change to you, it requires bit of time. Meanwhile do what you like to do. It is your life.
Nietzsche famously said, "What does not kill me makes me stronger." If you can stick to your practice for a few years, you'll come out far stronger and more sure of yourself. Historically, in the West anyway, those who follow the occult have had to bear a lot.So remember: you're in good company.
Something useful---call it magic or call it psychology---construct an impregnable spot you can visualize. Pick a place that you have been or seen in pictures. Make a sanctuary/temple for yourself there. Style and populate it to your tastes and needs. Every night, withdraw there in visualization. In the morning depart.Salute your tutelary deity arriving and departing. Discuss what you need to. Think on the spot as needed in trying moments during the day. (And, needless to add, describe this place to no one, friend or not.)
Depending on your age, you will have to accept your parents wishes. Once you are of legal age, you can do whatever you want. Granted, this also means your parents could kick you out of their house, so prepare for that possibility.
As for learning about Paganism, while I am a firm believer in reading all the books, you have a plethora of options at your disposal. Firstly, you are on a Pagan forum site. We have articles on the basics which you could study, save, print off, or copy into your Book Of Shadows/Grimoire/journal for reference. There is also social media such as YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok with information. Google is also your friend. You could also check books out of the library, read them at the library, or go to a book store and read the books at your disposal without purchase.
You also mentioned a Pagan friend, you could learn from them. You do not need things to practice Witchcraft or believe in Paganism. Spend time in nature. Meditate. Research the local plants and wildlife in your area. Journal about the seasons. How do you feel on sunny days versus rainy day. Follow the moon cycle and journal about how you feel depending on the phase. Write down your dreams. All of these things and more are part of Witchcraft/Paganism, require nothing more than a notebook, and can be done discreetly. Part of how Witchcraft survived was thanks to secrecy and utilizing what was on hand. A cauldron was just a cooking pot. Candles lit the home. You grew herbs for food. On the surface, nothing seemed out of place. It was knowing how to use these items in a Magikal sense that makes someone a Witch. Some had a teacher, others studied in solitude. You have the internet. While I will say legally respect your parents if you are under 18, logically, you can find ways to learn without them purchasing you books.
As for them insulting your faith, pick your battles. If you feel they would listen, craft a presentation to explain your faith to them. If it would be pointless, do not bother. Keep your mouth shut on the subject. Lay low until you can leave. Once you are on your own, you can do whatever you want. You can celebrate the sabbats, put all your witchy stuff out, never talk to them again, whatever. For now, do what you have to in order to keep a peaceful home. If they disrespect your faith when you mention it, do not talk about it. If they mock your friend, defend them, but if it will only make it worse, walk away. Your parents owe you nothing. Once you are an adult, you can choose how much you want them in your life. If it is zero, they have only themselves to blame. Legally, they are responsible for you until you are an adult, but once you hit the legal age in your country, they cannot stop you from doing what you feel is best. As a side note, look into your legal rights in your country. In Canada, children have more rights than children in America. This is one of the arguments taking place in Canada right now concerning Trans youth. Some parents claim it is their right to know if their child is going by different pronouns in school, but legally, if a child would be in danger, they have the right to not disclose that information to their parent. In America, they do not have the same luxury. I am not saying turn this into a legal matter, but if a number of your civil rights being mistreated, you could speak to the authorities.
I certainly hope everything is all right as well the answers/posts above were helpful. I know when I was young these were not as well but more towards the people around me than my parent. But I will still try to give you some advice that may be of some use to you.
Like what others said, books are nice to have but the majority of the information you are able to find about Paganism is already online. I do have quite a bit of books myself and it does make finding a topic easier but I do know this site as well others alike will have enough information to get you started with your path.
As for your parents not wanting to do any of our holidays that shouldn't be an issue. Not everyone outside of someones faith is willing to do their hobbies or activities. With that, we who follow the path of Paganism shouldn't force it upon others, even if we think it would encourage ourselves within our own path. Now you said you had friends who are in the same path. You should plan things with them and celebrate together. That is what my friends and I did many years ago when I was a youth. If not possible, like you are grounded or your parents don't want you to celebrate our holidays then tread carefully. Depending on the household it is known and has happened that the parents kicked the child out of the household. I am not sure your family is like that but is something to be mindful since you are more aware of your situation.
With the insults, you are still young. Try not to take this as an insult but just let your father do his own choice of insults. Like the above posts said, pick your battles. I grew up in the bible belt in Texas and I had my fair share of people insulting me and my path. It is even worse when it is a family member because you know them more and have to see them. For now, just endure the insults. You can always think of this as a trial you must overcome before you move to the next part of your path.
If things are still not looking well I am sure others who are active here will help. If not you can always ask for more advice. I do hope things are doing well and hope to hear from you soon.
I'm sorry to hear that. I know how hurtful it is to have your religion mocked [I still struggle with some religious trauma myself] Luckily, you've got options to learn. There's this site, there's also a bunch of people on YouTube and TikTok who've got videos. HearthWitch has a channel with a whole series on "The Basics"
There's also a bunch of people on TikTok and YouTube I recommend following [Let me know if you'd like a list]
You can also Google keywords and phrases and use quotations to narrow the search. Like "What is magick" "Basics of real witchcraft" or simply "Paganism." [You could scroll to the bottom of the Wiki page and use the reference links to get more information] Don't overwhelm yourself. Focus on one thing that interests you [If it's tarot, for instance, check out biddytarot.com and read their tarot guides and articles] focus on that one subject. Write down everything you find important [it could be a physical notebook, but if a note app on your phone or computer works better, do that. Just make sure you easily access it, read it over, and practice what you've learned]
