So long story short, I have started feeling an intense energy (vibration?) when I'm most at peace. I used to be a very calm and easy going person, when I was in highschool, i dealt with average depression and an anxious need to fit in. After that, i became very irritable toward certain situations, more angsty, and just more uncomfortable. I've taken steps toward calming myself, becoming the person I used to be, through meditation, smoking marijuana, eating better. But, since becoming closer to myself and really focusing on inward thinking, I've felt this fantastic, happy, and bright energy overtaking my body at certain times, mostly when I'm relaxed and alone. I would never have thought it was anything more than pure euphoria, triggered by some normal means, if it wasnt for this attraction to everything I feel, during the euphoria, I can focus on something and almost feel it responding to my thoughts. No motion, just, like a ping, I feel as if I'm sending a vibration to it, and it's being reflected like a radar.
If anyone know what I'm talking about, or has any experience with this, please message me and tell me I'm not out of my mind.
Believe me, you're not out of your mind. As it is with some, depression and such doesn't last forever. Being you've been meditating and smoking, it's relaxes you and probably releases endorphins. A brain chemical that promotes happiness and energy.
could be a few things. your mind and body relaxing after the high levels of stress, or you're managing your depression and suddenly remember what feelings are [i know when my depression was at it's worse i felt nothing, i wasn't happy or sad, just blah so when i started feeling emotions it was like the first time and every emotion felt great, even the bad ones lol]
spiritually it could be some type of awakening or a deity/spirit reaching out to you. take note when it happens, try saying hi, or meditating and saying 'i am open to conversation' and see what happens. what you're describing sounds like the first time i encountered my matron Goddess. just kind of relaxing, observing, and suddenly everything seems a million times better for no reason.
I know a lot of paths believe everything is composed of the same energy, and that the ultimate idea is to connect with the universe through it. So maybe you're getting closer to that particular end through your meditation and similar measures.
