I made a mistake. I told someone who I grew to care about a lie. Over time I builded up that lie. I made them believe that what I was saying true. Soon my guilt took the best of me and I told them the truth, I want to go back in time so I can stop myself from telling that lie. I cry every night hoping that they could for give or even forget me. I want to tell the truth without being scared of what a person will say. And I hate myself for not being able to tell the truth in fear of hurting someone I care about. And I’m afraid of what they will say next. I want to be loved so much that I lie to make myself sound like I’m perfect for the person. How can i help them forgive me and or forget me with out feeling bad about the good memories we had?
This is an incredibly difficult situation to correct. In most situations, it does not end for the best, and both parties must move on, and learn.
For me, trust is among the highest paramount in any relationship -- at work, among friends, and romantically. I begin trusting rather openly, but if the trust is betrayed, it is very difficult to regain it from me.
A very easy example is someone I dated a long time ago. She acted one way until she thought she had (basically) caught me. At that point, she started showing her true colors. She changed her behaviors, and started trying to change some of mine to fit her own expectations. Since she had not been genuine with me, I was hurt. That she had misrepresented herself to a large degree, I believed was disconcerting. That she was angry with me, tried to change me, and more, was a betrayal.
The same can be said of someone I dated, who I learned had been cheating on me. There were many other things as time had gone on, but I will stick to the one aspect: Cheating. Once I knew, I could no longer trust her. Of course she did the usual promising to never do it again, apologizing, and more. But she had done it, and had gone through great lengths to hide it. My trust was gone for her.
All of that said, I have respected at least an effort to come clean and regain trust. It does not make everything better right off, but I respect someone who can admit to something, and who works towards making things better.
My only advice is to greatly weigh your options. Being completely honest is always best, but you already know it could go badly.
I have few absolutes and extremes in my life. Lies and manipulations are two things I despise.
