Many people should read this! I got depresed at age 12-14. It sucked, I didn't want to die though, I ust wanted to leave home to be away from everyone. But luckily, I found pace and happiness through mother earth. It took a few years, but Happiness is simple if you know how to find it. Just got to know how to find it. Wonderful post!
Well, if everyone else is sharing... as Zeb said in the OP, every depression is unique, so I guess there's no harm sharing my experiences as well. Something I'd consider paramount in my own battle with depression is the concept of hopelessness.
That's what separates depression from sorrow, I guess. The idea, be it a grimly held conviction or a hard to shake suspicion, that no matter what happens, no matter what course you take, things will stay this bad. There's no bright horizons, no future respite. And this idea takes root and digs in deep. For me (of course I can only speak of my own experiences) the real manifestation of it was the perceived loss of control. I felt trapped in my own life. And after a while, I just accepted it. But not in a good way.
Acceptance can go two ways, see. You could accept that you have depression, and learn to overcome it, or you could accept that depression has you. That you are so entangled in this quagmire that there's no point in fighting. That every day will be like this, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can accept that, but it's not true.
The people who need to hear this the most are going to have the hardest time hearing me. It's not true. Depression does not own you. You are never too lost, too deep in the mud, to get out. There is always hope. I know, sometimes you can't see it. That's what happens when you?re depressed. But it's there, somewhere. And the next part was real important for me, so listen good- you can take control of your own life.
See, that was always the thing for me. Control. When I was depressed (well, worse than I am now), I felt I had lost control of my life. And really, I had. Part of it was the depression, and the control it had taken from me. The other part was external- circumstances had conspired various ways that limited my options in life. I lost my feeling of control. The core of my battle, which I'm still fighting today, has been regaining this feeling.
The first step, for me, was accepting responsibility for my life. If I was losing control, it was because I wasn't fighting hard enough to keep it. I had to stop thinking of myself as a victim, stop thinking life was something that happened to me. My problems were my own to solve. This simple shift in mindset was very empowering to me. In acknowledging my failure, I also acknowledged the potential for success.
I'd really like to say more, but honestly that's as far as I've gotten. I'm still fighting. I've still got so much further to go. It's hard getting out of a slump I've spent the last eight years in. It's hard for everyone. If you're where I was, keep fighting. If you're where I am now, keep fighting. Maybe further down the road, I can talk more- give actual helpful advice like Zeb and Katie. But for now, I?m still working on it myself.
