I know I'll probabely sound like one of those wannabees but I assure you, I just ask this because I want certainty and because I want to know if it's a possibility.
I've never been much of an eater, didn't eat much and never liked eating... but now it's not just not liking but rather hating it, everytime I eat I double over from the cramps, if it would have been an hour or even half an hour after I ate, I would say: ok this could be normal...
but it's only after 5 minutes and this happens after breakfast, lunch and dinner and let me tell you... it's not fun.
My father, and probabely my mother too, is/are thinking about anorexia as I run to the bathroom so soon after a meal, they barely trust it and if I say it are cramps, they look at me as if they don't believe me... not fun either.
(Now comes the part where you all probably will think I'm crazy)
First of all: I know vampires aren't as the movie world describes them: ruthless bloodsuckers that only come out at night to feast on everything that moves, preferably human.
But I'd like to know... is there a possibility that I am a vampire?
As I said before, I don't buy the movie-worlds version (I do believe there is a possibility that there are vampires like that, but I think of them as not so different of a serial killer).
But I remember that when I was little I always tried to suck my own blood out of my arm and I only stopped when my father kept saying that the blood could klit together, go to my heart and I could die, it was hard for me to stop but I managed, but not so long ago I did it again after all those years and again I stopped but the temptation to start all over stays.
Also I've been continuesly sick for almost all my life, since I was 2 I get sick almost once a week (I'm 16 now)... actually I feel sick almost everyday but lucky enough I only am too sick to go to school one day a week with 2 or 3 weeks in between...
Could all this be a sign of something or am I just growing nuts?
that's the point, no doctor knows what's wrong with me. they can't find anything. A doctor I'm seeing now said (after an energy reading) it was an energy blockage so I've took stuff for that and then went for a new reading. The reading came with way better results and he said I should be fine now but it's still the same as when I started and I completed the treatment so...
grtz
ps: with cramps I mean the feeling that you get when you need to go the toilet... that painful one(like stabs in the stumach)... I don't know how you call it in english but I thought it would be cramps as 'kramp' which is dutch covers that too.
To me it sounds like you have got so use to not eating due to fear of eating (and I feel you may need to go and see someone about your fear of food) not saying that you are but it does sounds as though you have become anorexic.. and the stomach cramps is where you stomach has shrunk that any food you eat its stretches your stomach causing it to cramp or even make you feel/do wanto to vomit!!
If you want to try and help yourself how about eating small bowels of soft fluid meals like soups etc.. to build up your stomach and get it to stretch genlty until you are able to eat a poper meal
First of all I want to clear a few things up and I know that I'll risk sounding like I'm in denial but what I'll tell you are the facts.
I said I've never ate much and I never liked eating, while that is true, I didn't cover the snacks with it and it wasn't/isn't because I fear(ed) that I would gain weight because I know that I barely gain weight no matter what I eat. The reason that I never liked eating was because there wasn't/isn't much food of which I like the taste. Although I always have to eat what's on my plate, you rarely see me doing it with pleasure... I like the meat, most of the healthy stuff like vegetables I don't, I'm not a rabbit. If you would hear what I used to snack and still snack on a day you wouldn't say that I'm afraid of food... so I'll humor you.
In the morning I eat cereals as breakfast, between morning and noon I eat a choclatewaffle, I eat 6 pieces of bread (most of the time with chocopaste or choclate flakes) as lunch, as a snack I eat a bar of choclate and a leowaffer, as dinner I most of the time eat some vegetables, a big piece of meat and some potatoes, as snack I eat chips, cakes and sometimes ice cream.
The part that my stomach had shrunk I already heared that possability from my mother but that was because I don't eat as much rather than because I was having cramps. I don't believe that my stumach has shrunken because I think that if they would have seen that on the gastroscopy, they would have asked me or my mother if I was anorexic.
About the soup, my mother says it gives you an appatite but my stummach is always filled when I drink soup and I just hate the taste of it.
So it was enlightning to hear this from someone else than my parents so I could understand them better, still I don't quite believe I'm anorexic... if there are more of you who think I am, you still can say it, 'cuz I know that it's possible I'm in denial but I don't think so as everyone is always surprised what I eat while I remain weighing around 46kg - 47kg while I'm 16.
Also, I got my blood checked out too, (like I said not a single doctor could find something, neither gastroscopy neither blood tests showed something), my vitamines were good, I had even enough reserve so it isn't a lack of that... I personally have considered my liver but I think that the doctor would have noticed that so...
I once knew a girl who got skinnier by eating junk food like chocolate, but it also deteriorated her health. Try eating more vegetables, lots of times a day and finding ways to make them tasty to you. Even trying an octo lacto vegetarian diet may help. I think at this point just an experimentation with cutting out certain types of foods that you normally eat may be the key. You could try drinking blood though, who knows maybe it's the best way for your body to process iron. Just stop cutting your arms and go to a butcher, if they ask why you need it just say you're making blood pudding. I still wouldn't say you're a vampire though even if the blood did benefit you, iron is iron.
To much of anything can be bad. I noticed you eat a lot of fillers, bread, chips, cereal. This fills you up more then the amount of nutrients your body requires. If anything is shocks your gastrointestinal system to only being "programmed" to eat wheats and oats. So that's may be a cause of cramping, vomiting, etc. Your GI tract is do used to bread, and wheats, that when you eat veggies or meat, you body freaks out and goes into shock, which then triggers the responce to get it out by vomiting. Plus this could also play a huge part in you anxiety and fear of eating, why? Because when you eat certin unknown foods you feel bad and you go into survival mode. Because you aren't eating food, your body is starving and then begins to eat itself that's why anorexia is assumed.
So try changing your diet SLOWLY. If you switch completely in a few day period you might do more harm then good. Since you keep track of what you eat and how much, try and cut back on the breads and add a small amount of meat or vegtables. Even if you cut back to 5 pieces of bread and add a slice of ham to replace the piece you cut back this should help your GI adjust to other foods easily and in time you can balance it out completely. I hope this helps good luck and I wish you the best.
I'm trying to lessen the amount of choclate I eat and when I'm feeling sick it works... when I get better... well my body starts with saying: give me that choclate!
I guess I'm kinda addicted.
The doctors say it can't be that I'm lactose intollerant... as for why they say that, I don't know.
And to be more clear about the blood part... I don't cut myself, I suck it right through the skin, that's why my father mentioned that blood could stick together. I know it doesn't really make a difference but I did want to clear that fact.
