Hi guys, I wanted some opinions on something I've been thinking about.
I've found that when it comes to spirituality or religion, people usually say they're seeking enlightenment, their true selves, connection with deity etc.
But I've never found I'm all that interested in these things, more so because I feel like those needs are either already satisfied (such as my pantheism and animism giving a sense of connectivity with everything) or don't find them particularly important in my life (such as enlightenment, though I suppose learning is still important I don't necessarily seek deep wisdom or spiritual greatness in that sense).
Rather, my first motivations to find Paganism was curiosity, which I forgot when I gradually became more focused on doing it "right" than just finding a path that works for me. Even so, I've always been my own motivation, with a noticeable lack of an end goal other than to be happy, fulfilled and have fun on a sustainable path.
Is this motivation selfish? I've had difficulties committing to most religious paths because honestly I find little appeal in the idea of praising gods for the sake of praising Them. I respect the gods, and I honour certain deities on the celebration days on the Wheel of the Year, but other than that I feel like my path is a bit fluid and doesn't have the rigidity of a normal, structured religious faith.
I suppose I might be seeking validation, but only in the sense that I have no other opinions to draw from but my own. I'm a little bit unsure about what I'm doing, but I know that this is right for me, even if it seems a bit unorthodox for Paganism (wow I never expected to see those two in a sentence together).
Anyway, I'm not sure if you can even class what I do anymore as religious, it's more spirituality now though I do have a clear sense of deity or god/s in my life. It's just not in the normal pantheonic sense, I suppose.
Certainly a spirituality designed around personal satisfaction would be self-centered, or human-centric. But that's not unusual in what goes on in the vast majority of modern spiritual thought. It's the zeitgeist to approach any kind of spiritual practice with an attitude of "what will this do for me?". I see it all the time in the workshops, courses and training programs that crop up in town, and they're usual money-making opportunities for the people who flog them.
From a polytheist point of view we honour the gods because it is right and correct to do so, even if it is inconvenient, difficult and sometimes detrimental to our own satisfaction. I have taboos and obligations that don't make my life easy and after a day at work I'm usually not in the mood to purify myself and then traipse up to the graveyard with a plate of offerings. But I do it anyway. I can see how this approach can turn a lot of people off. As a species we're not good at doing things that don't immediately benefit us (though I'd argue that getting into right relationships with deities and spirits brings about long-term joy).
I'd like to add that I'm not playing "holier than thou", my religious devotions and obligations are something that are personal to me and wouldn't fit with another devotee of the same gods, They tend to ask for different things and different levels of devotion from different people. But you've asked for some opinions and this is simply mine.
If you are looking for a term that fits your own practices and exploration then "self-development" is as good a term as any. I wouldn't worry about external validation, there will always be someone ready to tell you that what you're doing is wrong, especially in spiritual and magical communities!
Like with any religion or faith, or personal ecclectic path, I look at it as being between the individual and the deity/s they choose to honor, follow, and call on for assistance. It isn't up to other people to determine if a deity should or shouldn't work with you or respond to your requests based on whether you've done enough to earn their favor. Only the god/goddess can decide if they are satisfied with your efforts.
If you feel that your actions and motivations give you a sense of connection and communion with the deities you follow, then things are likely good. Generally-speaking if a deity decided your efforts were not satisfactory for the things you ask for help on, then they wouldn't help or provide any sense of connection or presence.
In all honesty, bespoke traditions aside it is not how much you do, nearly as much as what you do and why. Even a token effort given in genuine appreciation is far more valuable than a grand gesture done out of a sense of 'paying the bills'.
I have been feeling bad and it is affecting my spells. I am in turmoil over being Christian and Magickal. I am very afraid of God damning me to my own horrible hell. Is it possible to be christian and magickal while still having gods love and inheritence to heaven? Please help because now even simple spells are backfiring and hurting me horribly!
Nymree, there is no requirement to use magic for internal growth. Many people use it solely to affect the world around them, such as drawing money or finding a better job. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
FrostFox, I cannot tell you what to do in your situation, as the decision is yours. I could advise you about some aspects of the Bible to keep in mind, but they are my own interpretation and opinion based on some things not in the Bible, such as archaeological discoveries and versions of scriptures not accepted into the canonical texts.
That said, in stead of attempting to hijack an existing thread with a new topic, why not start a new thread in stead?
When you go into the forums, enter whatever basic chat topic area that suits your question. On the screen there should be a clickable link saying 'start a new thread'.
Click on that link and it will get you started. ^_^
In the meantime, to avoid further changing of the current topic here I'll send you a mail as well once I get a chance.
Thanks for everyone's contributions! I've found this really interesting and as I get into a better place with my spirituality, I'll see how my practice and beliefs develop from this. Your opinions have been really useful, thanks again!
